{"id":124,"date":"2013-10-19T02:47:40","date_gmt":"2013-10-19T02:47:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/?page_id=124"},"modified":"2017-07-11T04:48:05","modified_gmt":"2017-07-11T04:48:05","slug":"epileptograph-original-text-1992","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/?page_id=124","title":{"rendered":"Epileptograph: Original text, 1992"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"800_1996_Isabelle<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

“Epileptograph: The Internal Journey”\u00a9<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n

[ Original Text (February 1992)]<\/strong><\/p>\n

Stage one: building up of a tonic-clonic epileptic seizure.
\nIt can take a different amount of time,
\ndepending on the element triggering the fit,
\nfor the seizure to actually happen.
\nThe aura
\ncan be anterior to a day, an hour, a minute or just a few seconds.
\nAlternatively,
\nthere can be a total lack of aura.
\nThe actual seizure can seem, for a witness, instantaneous.<\/p>\n

Stage two: the fit in itself.
\nElectrical implosion or explosion leading to nothing:
\nfrom consciousness to sudden total emptiness.
\nThis is the black hole where all energy is swallowed and lost.
\nThere is absolutely no memory of this moment.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Stage three: the unknown state.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Stage four: the slow rebuilding of consciousness.<\/p>\n

First sensation:
\nA low bass sound is associated to an intermittent heart beat.
\nTotal bodiless sensation.<\/p>\n

Second sensation:
\nVisualisation of a space, the mind space,
\nwithout edges but enclosed
\nand very smooth.
\nIts colours change
\naccording to the morphing organic shapes flying in it.
\nThey are almost transparent
\nand are pulsing, jellyfish like motion.
\nA slow heart beat echoes
\nand a grinding noise add onto the low bass sound.
\nTotal bodiless sensations.<\/p>\n

Third sensation: FEAR.
\nThe pulsating morphing shapes change colours,
\ntheir movements in space are slow and smooth.
\nA feeling of deep fear appears, the guts are tightening.
\nShapes and sounds
\nare travelling in opposite directions,
\nthis discordant asynchronicity amplifies the absence of time.
\nThere is no time.
\nThe mind space is expending, contracting, breathing.
\nIts colours keep changing.
\nThe grinding noise in the temples is increasing
\nand its high pitches
\ngenerate the first sensations of physical pain.
\nThe sensation
\nof reverberating sounds coming from outside the body is emerging.<\/p>\n

Fourth sensation: PHYSICAL PAINS.
\nExternal sounds are filtered
\nand decayed but
\nhigh pitches are stabbing the brain.
\nThere is a definite perception of an outside environment
\nbut without any understanding of it.
\nAn awareness of total isolation is suddenly emerging
\nand
\nturning to extreme fear.
\nShapes and sounds are travelling in opposite directions.
\nVisually,
\nthe mind space is still breathing.
\nInside it, more and more objects are flying around,
\nchoreographing different patterns.
\nBright flashes of colours are associated with high pitched sounds
\nand provoke very deep lines of burning pain.<\/p>\n

Fifth sensation: THERE-ACCUMULATION OF THE SELF.
\nThe reconstruction stage
\nonly really starts
\nwhen
\nsounds and shapes are adequately linked.
\nThe internal vision follows the metamorphosing shapes
\nestablishing connections with others
\nand eventually creating visual patterns synchronised with sounds.<\/p>\n

When shapes misconnect,
\nsounds lose their guides and physical pains occur.
\nSounds and shapes travel
\nand must merge to form a recognisable entity.
\nThere is no dominant sense, sounds and vision are one and create a
\ncode.
\nThere are no words yet.
\nRecognition of any internal or external physical signal
\ndepends on
\nthe audio-visual patterns generated by this data.
\nThe reconstruction of the meaning of all information
\nis based on a visual vocabulary.
\nPhysical pain
\nis less acute when sounds and shapes are correctly linked.
\nEverything is very slowly filtered and starts to be named.
\nBut
\nthere was no language
\nand to find words is physically painful.
\nThere is no time still.
\nThe recovery of the use and meaning of language
\nis
\nslow and fearful.
\nThis timeless process has a stepped structure
\nwhich is uncontrollable and has its own chronology.
\nThere is
\nan instinctive knowledge
\nof the existence of a step ahead but
\nthere is no control
\nof the process’ pace.
\nFear grows, the guts are linked to the skull by a burning line.
\nWill-power is non-existent.
\nThere is an instinctive knowledge of being no one.<\/p>\n

There is also an awareness of all procedures undertaken
\nand an obsessive questioning,
\nstill without words,
\nof the whole process: does this lead
\nto sanity or to madness?<\/p>\n

Sixth sensation: REGAINING CONSCIOUSNESS
\nAND BODY SENSATIONS.
\nThere is a progressive visual disappearance of the mind space.
\nOpening the eyes
\nprovides almost a spheric perception,
\nthe four corners are very dark.
\nBright lights, colours and high pitched sounds are extremely
\naggressive
\nand are irritating the flesh of the brain.
\nThe chronological gap
\nbetween perception and analysis of information
\nis slowly erasing.
\nBut full comprehension of any signals is far from complete.
\nNo time, no words.
\nKnowledge is gone, memories are lost.
\nThere is an instinctive awareness of being incapacitated.
\nWill-power starts to act
\nbut
\nthe keys to comprehension have to be found.
\nThe physical resources to do so are meagre.
\nThe feeling of having had a fit appears.
\nThe jaws and neck are very stiff,
\nthe tongue is swollen as it has been bitten,
\nthe whole body is contracted, painful, heavy, exhausted.
\nThe back of the skull is burning.<\/p>\n

The blood pressure has dropped.
\nThirst is boundless.
\nThe head is buzzing.
\nA heavy blood pulsation rhythm in the temples paces time.
\nBubbles of electrical sensations explode at the base of the skull.
\nLines of pain climb the _neck.
\nPhysical balance is extremely precarious.
\nThe legs are very weak.
\nThe whole body is pulsing, searching for energy.
\nFear is muting to anger and despair.
\nThe mind tries hard to concentrate
\nbut
\noften gives up as all perceptions are chaotic and painful.
\nTotal isolation is real as senses shut down to avoid the pain.
\nIn the mind, a chaotic reconstruction
\nof words and memories is visually taking place.
\nEverything seems meaningless:
\nwords, sounds and images are just flying around
\nwith
\nno base on which to anchor.
\nAnxiety and despair tear the guts
\nwhen suddenly
\nthe eyes open and things can only be identified
\nand named
\nafter a deep mental search.
\nBurning lines of pain travel in the brain during this process.
\nAn obsessive quest for a memory,
\nany memory,
\npreceding the seizure starts.
\nA feeling of powerless obedience to the body generates
\ndeep anger:
\nthe mind has no power in reconstructing itself.
\nOnly sleep could erase the frustration.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Stage five: reaching sleep.
\nIt is sometimes difficult
\nto go to sleep after this experience.
\nTime is still unclear.
\nThe journey is not over
\nas the mind keeps searching for its previous abilities.
\nThe process of this quest is so chaotic
\nthat, again,
\nmadness seems close.
\nBut instead of being triggered by an absence of language,
\ninsanity is now activated by
\nan overflow of disordered information that
\nthe brain
\ncannot physically absorb.
\nThe head is still buzzing,
\nthe loud blood pulsation is grinding,
\nthe ears are painful and spin at any high pitched sound.
\nThe body, head included, resonates.
\nMind power is required to move any limb
\nbut gradually
\nthe tense and aching body recovers its functions to perform.
\nFalling asleep seems impossible.
\nAnger and quest for memory are obsessive.
\nSpeech is coming back
\nbut physical resonance through the whole skull,
\nand thirst,
\nmake it very uncomfortable.
\nConcentration and one,
\nonly one,
\nsingle line of thought
\nare impossible to achieve.
\nEventually, and very suddenly, Morpheus arrives …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Epileptograph: The Internal Journey”\u00a9 [ Original Text (February 1992)] Stage one: building up of a tonic-clonic epileptic seizure. It can take a different amount of time, depending on the element triggering the fit, for the seizure to actually happen. The aura can be anterior to a day, an hour, a minute or just a few…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":108,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-124","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":235,"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/124\/revisions\/235"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.inaudible-visions.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}